speaking of money... and time

some random thoughts

I love to spend money on my kids. I don't know why- perhaps because my mother would take us shopping and buy us junk to show that she was sorry or that she "loved" us... after her episodes of abuse. I don't know- but when I am feeling sorry for my kids, I want to give them a gift, when I am proud of them, I want to give them a gift, and when I am really just in love with them...

It occurs to me that the money I spend on little gifts would be better spent on an activity we could do together. This would be appreciated more than a little toy or other junk, which would then take more time, by needing to be taken care of itself. Does that make sense? If I eliminate the time taken to shop and buy a gift, and the time to clean and care for the gift later, and instead I spend time making something with my child, or taking a walk with them, or playing a game together with them, I take out the middle man. And I also save the money on the item, which translates into less money needed in my budget and less time spent working for that money. If I could reverse the urge to purchase things, into an urge to spend more time with people I care about, I can get our family out of debt sooner, consume less, and ease a lot of stress and work.

So why is it so difficult to actually do it???

Of course, I do make excuses... I AM frugal, and I purchase second hand as often as possible. I do enjoy shopping. That, I guess, is a cultural thing. But I enjoy spending a day at the park, or library, or museum, with my kids and husband a LOT more than I enjoy shopping, and there are no guilt trips after.

I know this, and yet- when I read about a "great deal" on toys or clothes for my kids, I have a strong urge to go shopping. Weird.